We should take risks to love ourselves even if it’s scary.
So let me start off about a small but piece of who God is. God is the creator, from Genesis where He created the heaven and earth, light and darkness, plants and trees, and of course God created mankind and all the way to revelation where God created a new heaven and a new earth. God created everything, so creativity is in our DNA. So now let me show you all a little glimpse of my recent journey I’m on and what happen when you merge creativity and loving yourself together.
For a long time or I should say, most of my life I’ve been very insecure about who I am and the way I looked. I wasn’t even confident in who I am as a man. About 7 to 8 years ago I started to shave my head and I would leave about less than an inch of hair on my head but when I would look back at pictures I never really liked it. I decided when I went to a Christian college, was to grow out my hair and start doing different hairstyle. In my first year I literally had 5 hairstyles until I found the one that suited me the best. That was the first step I had to take to do something creative to start loving myself.
In first year at college (2015) I started to find out how creative I really am. With that, I found out that I am dancer. With being a dancer, it started to open my heart up with creativity and it also started to open up a door of creativity that God put inside long time ago. I started to realize that I love seeing people’s hair that had bright colour in it , and I wished that I could do it, but since being a man, I thought that I would look stupid, or look like I was mental, and I didn’t want to upset my family.
Coloring my hair was something in my heart that I really wanted to do for myself and over the summer in 2019 I started to wrestle with that I realized wanted to change my hair colour for fun and knew that it would be scary to dye my hair. I also knew that it would be so much fun to use my hair as a canvas to create an expression that was inside me onto my hair.
In October 2019 I got the courage to dye my hair for the first time. I fell in love with colouring my hair and it created a different side of me. It brought out this fun and childlike that I haven’t experience in such a long time. I will also say, that I was also scared after I coloured my hair for the first time and all I did was dye my hair a silver which wasn’t that crazy at all.
I was so scared after dying my hair, the day after I went to a major store and I was literally in my car for like ten minutes and it kind of felt like an eternity in my car. I decided to kick fear away and go into the store. It was weird at first walking into the store knowing that I have a different hair colour now. But as soon as I walked in and started going up and down the aisles, I started to realize that the insecurities I’ve carried for most of my life were starting to disappear. I started not caring about what people, friends and family thought of me. I also become confident in who I am, and I started walking different, almost like I’m a boss. I started becoming stronger and confident in who I really am, and I am experiencing everyday looking in the mirror on how God sees me.
This experience that I’m having right now that started a few months, has been so amazing, so much fun and totally worth it. People who I look up to have been asking me why I did start changing my hair. So I tell them, for me it’s a way that I can do something to express the fun that’s inside me but also creating the love that I have for myself through creativity. I asked myself if I could give anyone advice about how to love yourself, what would it be. Well, all I would say is, do something that you really wanting to do that is in back of your mind because I believe God put it there and take that risk, even if you think or know people think your crazy.
I’ve had family member give me a wrong message meant for someone else saying they don’t understand me and thinking I’m not doing God’s will with dying my hair and being a gamer and I’ve have had people think I stole their ideas because twice we accidently had same hair color at the exact same day and time but truly I don’t care enough to copy others. That’s what I’ve dealt with last few months. I am more confident in myself now because I feel like me now in the way I look then I was a five months ago. I will say, only person I asked about colouring my hair was my boss, because I didn’t want to get fired from my job that I love.
We should all take risks to love ourselves even if it’s scary and there could be little backlash, because God desire that we all love ourselves just as he loves us and that’s including doing something a little crazy.