This article might be very foreign to you. It might piss you off cause this is not your picture of holy. It might sound like I am a madman cause it doesn’t sound of this world and it isn’t. You might not ever see me the same. I wish I could say I don’t care what you think, but I do. Oh, I do. Just let it all sink in.
So this Holy Spirit of the in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, this Holy Spirit was very foreign to me. I had this lovely relationship with the Father and I still couldn’t really grasp what Jesus had done for me. But the Holy Spirit was this vague person I didn’t know anything about.
Until I found myself in California cause God told me to go there. Little did I know what I got into. God was going to get really real for me. In the sense, I could feel His presence. I could feel Him being really near to me. Nothing that my mind could really grasp. My body really could contain. But my spirit was running over of this love that was so strong it could have killed me in a second.
I saw these people struck by love like lightning rushing through their bodies. They were literally trembling. And I wanted to be with God soo close like them. But I seemed so far away. Like there was a ceiling in between us. I wanted what these people had. So I asked people to pray with me. He started to pursue me with the deepest peace I ever felt. But I didn’t feel His fire. I wanted His fire.
Until later someone asked me who of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit seems distant to you. Well hello Holy Spirit I have no freaking idea who you are. I had no idea He was the presence of God. She simply introduced me to Him. And cleared the path of whatever could stand between us. And there I saw myself hugging the presence of God.
I had no idea letting the Holy Spirit in was me letting go of control. He shook my world, literally. I stubbornly wanted to resist letting anything go. My mind couldn’t understand. So it didn’t make sense to me. Till someone said to me. Surrender. Just let go. I knew in that moment I had to let go. And I let go. And I fell on the floor. In the middle of someone’s living room. With lots of people around mei. And I apologised to the Holy Spirit. Of Him pursuing me and me ignoring Him. Was I really going to fight God? My silver giraffe necklace represents a piece of that night.
Oh the crazy adventures of His presence that followed. And piece by piece I let go of control and got launched me in a new piece of freedom. From uncontrollable laughter. To me drenched in sweat cause His love hit my body so strong I was sure I would get killed if He showed me just a fraction more. Which set everything in a crazy perspective. He did love me wild. Really wild. His love was very real. I never felt so alive.
He pursued me in crazy encounters with other people prophesying over my life. Speaking life and giving me crazy promises. For one week I couldn’t sit still cause I was so passionate and on fire on His love. I am sure people must have thought I was tripping. But dang my God all of a sudden got really real. And I was out of control. Not really functioning. And I couldn’t give a damn anymore about what people might think. Cause His love had never felt more real to me.
His voice became so vibrant to me. We were having real deal conversations. In me talking. Him responding. In Him talking. Me responding. No longer the endless prayers I was sending up to Heaven. We were talking. We were having relationship. This thing was real.
In worship, He just was taking me to places. And angels are actual a real thing. And just atmospheres all surrounding us. And me just being undone of this new world. Heaven. All of a sudden everything making so much sense that we only use around ten percent of our brains. We are only able to see so many shades of light. Cause there is a whole world out there. And that world is living in us. We are all carrying a piece of Heaven inside us. And He is always there with me.
Yeah just let your stubbornness go. Let go of control. Let go of your thoughts. Go talk to God. And let Him pursue you. And trust Him. And don’t be scared of anything you don’t understand. Be in His presence. It is the most human and divine you will ever feel. It is better than sex. (I am laughing so hard about this reading it back, but I guess this statement is very true) He is faithful.
“He will love me more in a moment than any lover could in a lifetime.”