Before, celebration seemed something reserved for big parties, birthdays and high achievements. When everything in life seemed on it’s high and this tingling in your body others might subscribe to Christmas.
When on the contrary griefing seemed to deal with high losses, funerals and the big failures upon life. When everything in life seemed on it’s low and this numb feeling in your body others might subscribe to heartache.
Yet I found these to live more in the ordinary day to day, living quite next to each other instead of being on the complete other spectra of life. Cause with every celebration and new season, there is a little grief for what has gone by. And with every loss, there is a little celebration for the beauty you have tasted. And that is a very rich life, to be able to taste it all.
The same strength we need to stand in our successes is the same strength we need to stand in our failures. The same strength we need to stand in our highs is the same strength as we need in our lows. As well as that same strength we need to dive into celebration is the same strength we need to carry our grief.
🦋 BIRTHDAYS 🦋 As a kid my birthday was something I looked forward to so much, running around all day with this magical feeling in my tummy. While getting older this became a day I started to dread days before, filled with this grief of the quite-not-yets in life. Those are quite polar, yet birthdays are for the perfect match of them. A celebration of that gorgeous life of yours, of your gorgeous being. It being okay you are not quite there in life where you want to be and it being totally okay to say goodbye to the passing years that won’t come back. A gratitude towards the past, the present and the future.
🦋 LIVING NOW 🦋 We can only taste RIGHT NOW, this second. We can vibe of the past, we can vibe of the future, but we can only be here RIGHT NOW. To really be present, is to be present to your current surroundings choosing to soak up the beauty of it and to be thankful for it. To be happy for the quite ordinary simple things, because that is the moment present for you RIGHT NOW. It may all seem so normal to you, the life you are living right now, sometimes you might even feel stuck if all ever will change. But one year from now, will be so different, it might happen boringly graduate, it might happen very abrupt and almost too hard to take. But you got this. Don’t beat yourself up being so harsh on yourself, striving so hard for a good future, with neglecting to taste the beauty of this one. Even when it may feel so tough right now like everything is falling apart being in big survival mode, everything feeling utterly unimportant than the big things in life, still look at the beauty of a bird, the ticking of the rain, the hand of a loved one. Even when right now seems all too much and you rather want to flee for living RIGHT NOW. It is okay, you got this. You are stronger than you think, and there is more beauty around than you might be able to see.
🦋 DEATH 🦋 Losing a loved one, being hit with the reality of never being able to ever be in their presence again especially in the simple ordinary stuff you mostly have taken for granted. For missing them in moments you rather would have shared together with them. There is so much beauty in the tragedy of missing someone, missing is a celebration of deep love. Death gives you such a different perspective on life. Unimportant things you panic and fuss about seeming more than ever unimportant and such a waste of space. And the simple ordinary being the extraordinary magical taste of life.
All that to say, don’t get numb for RIGHT NOW, live in the season. Taste the beauty of winter, taste the beauty of summer. Taste the beauty of people’s presence. I dare you to stop yourself in your tracks each day just for a second, by feeling that warm ray of sunlight on your face, by feeling that wet drop of rain on your arm, by catching that sparkle in someone’s eye. Don’t be too busy to be happy. And there is beauty in tears, don’t hold them back.
Lots of love,
– musings at 4 ‘o clock in the morning