When Rae asked me to write a 10 ways to love yourself blog post I was so excited and honoured. After saying yes, I then thought about it, and honestly my first thought was ‘oh flip’. You see, learning to love myself has been an on-going journey for the last 5 years or so, and I definitely have good days and bad days. Recently, I’ve been having a few bad days. But I realised actually, what could be a better time to write this blog post because I’m talking to myself as much as I am to you. So here are the 10 ways that help me love myself and they also stop me from going on a downward spiral to the place I used to be in where it was a struggle to look at myself in the mirror.
1. Write a list of the things you’re good at
When I was younger my soul focus was on the way I looked. I was 20 when I realised there is more to us then the way we look. So I started exploring the things that I was good at, in all honesty, it was hard because I couldn’t see those things. But with a little help from my closest friends I was able to recognise what I was good at and embrace those things. If you’re struggling to think of things you are good at then ask your friends, or maybe try new things. I didn’t realise I was good at writing until one day I sat down and decided that I wanted to start a blog.
2. Take time to do the things you enjoy doing.
I love exploring, going to cafe’s, reading a good book, and being my the sea. I try to do one of these things at least once a week. Having the time to do the things that I loved has made me a more joyful person!
3. Have a cup of tea.
This wont work for everyone, but there is something so lush about sitting down and drinking a cup of tea. This honestly makes me so happy.
4. Stop comparing yourself.
I will happily admit that I am also talking to myself right now. I heard this quote that says ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ AND IT’S SO TRUE! The amount of time I have wasted scrolling through people’s Instagram’s comparing my life to others is crazy. And every time it’s left me feeling bad about my life or wishing I was different. That is the complete opposite of loving yourself and it’s a place I don’t want to be anymore. You are you, and you are amazing. You will never be the person you are comparing yourself too and you don’t need to be. God created YOU as you ARE, you are beautiful!
5. Find the good in others
This comes off the back of my last point, but I have found the more I have built others up and encouraged them especially the ones I have felt more jealous of in the past, combined with recognising my own gifts and being content with that, the less I compare myself to them. So often we are so focused on ourselves but turning our attention away from ourselves and onto other people is a great thing to do. So find the good in those around you and tell them! Words of encouragement go such a long way!
Ha, I definitely go through phases of loving and hating exercise (I currently hate it). But when we exercise we feel better about ourselves, it can clear out our thoughts, channel our energy and give us more motivation. This helps my to love myself because I’m looking after myself.
7. Hang out with people who love you and build you up.
Find those friends that are rooting for you and encouraging you. Honestly, some friendships can be toxic. Sadly some people don’t care about you and they are not looking out for you. If you feel like those friends are around you at the moment, then it will be hard to get out of it. Find friends who will bring joy kindness and love into your life. Make this a point of prayer and as time goes on you will see him bring these people into your life! Because He really cares about these things, and He hears your prayer.
8. Spend time with God
This is the most beneficial point in my life. I can clearly see the difference in how I view myself when I have been spending time with God, or when I haven’t. Spending time praying, reading, singing, dancing, walking, however you spend time with God – just do it. When we focus our attention to Jesus, naturally we can see more clearly the person we are meant to be.
9. See what the bible says about who you are.
The bible is filled with nuggets of wisdom of who you were created to be. Find those bible versus, write them down and declare them over yourself! Remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are Gods handiwork, you were made for a purpose, you are more precious than rubies, you can laugh without fear of the future, there is nothing that can separate you from the Love of God. Speak this over your self. And see how your self perception transforms.
10. Admit your insecurities.
Becoming aware of my insecurities was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Once I personally recognised them I was firstly, able to give them over to God and pray for freedom from these things and secondly, I could find practical ways to get me over these insecurities. It also helps to talk to someone you trust about these things so they can help build you up, encourage you and even challenge you when they see those insecurities taking over a bit.
Darling, I want you to know that loving yourself is a life long journey, and you are not alone. You have people supporting you and you have your Heavenly Father who wants you to know that you are loved, gifted, beautiful, smart and able. You were created with a purpose, and you are more loved than you know. I pray that you would step into the freedom of Gods love today.