Self-love, a concept I’m relatively new too and I feel still learning to do. Only a few months ago something switched on inside me where I started caring about me, internally instead of what I thought everyone thought about me externally.
So I feel as a newbie to the world of loving yourself, here are my 10 ways to self-love.
I feel loving yourself isn’t about being 100% happy all the time but accepting when your not and releasing that energy. And music is my master key to do just that. Whether I’m at the gym running to Linkin Park releasing any stress and negativity from that day, or crying to the latest Sam Smith album, music lets me understand and it allows me to let go of my emotions in so many ways.
2. Being Grateful
There’s so much in life that I know I take for granted, which is why once a month I set aside time to note down what I’m grateful for. I use this time not only to give thanks for what I have but also note down what I want for the future. I also use this time to let go of thoughts and feelings I’ve had that month, it’s truly surprising how writing it down on paper can help you. Doing this task once a month allows me to kick start the next day feeling lighter and ready to face the new challenges that are waiting.
3. Fairy Lights & Candles
My room is my haven. It’s not big, but it’s my space to relax and take time for me and it used to be bare! I’ve now scattered fairy lights in most corners and dotted candles round in dull areas. Having this space, and the low lights allows me time to drift into my mind and take time to think. I’d never managed that before with my main light on. It is now a daily ritual that I turn on my lights when the sun goes down so when I do go up to bed my room already is calm and ready for me to relax in.
4. Fury Cuddles
Have you ever noticed how stroking your fury animals can help you become calm? I’ve read online that pets can help lower stress, anxiety, and depression and ease loneliness and oh my how my cat helps with that. I find myself cuddling her, normally because she’s pestered for it but somehow half and hour has gone by and I’ve not picked up my phone and I’d told Dotty (my cat) how my day was and asked her about hers. Take time for your pets, a cuddle a day can do more than you think.
Reading might not seem like a way of loving your self but for me entering a different world through the help of your favourite author can just be the break I needed. Reading allows you to not look at your phone for a set period of time and focus your mind on something other than what you may be thinking of. I always recommend books to friends and family and often get the response of “I just don’t have the time”, I think for reading, you can make time. Don’t scroll through your Instagram for 15 minutes before you go to sleep, pick up a book and give your mind, and yourself a break.
I love scrapbooking and looking through old memories and reminiscing about times. I’ve done a lot of these over the years and some people may be in them that I may not speak to anymore, but that’s why I love it. Scrapbooking has helped me accept the past and understand things happen for a reason, some people come into your life and stay, others are just passers by but while they’re there, its great.
7. Compliment Others
You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone lets you know you look great or you hair is lovely even though you may think you look a mess? You can get that too by complimenting others. I feel self love isn’t just about, me or you but loving the people around you. Spread the love! Tell your friend her outfit is great or let someone know you love them! Spread the love, and the love will come back to you in return.
Get back to nature and once again put that phone away. Admittedly I’ll still get my phone out on walks but normally to snap a photo. Living close to the sea and the forest allows me to get out and explore, in the forest I’m sure to lose signal and not hear my phone beep for hours, which can just be the break I need. Other times the sea, whether its calm or the waves are crashing in you’ll normally see a picture of it up on my Instagram later that day but walks do more that jazz up my Instagram feed. Walks allow me to disconnect, hearing the sea or birds chirping some how makes me realise that life isn’t as hectic as I think it is and it can all go and your own pace.
9. Let Go Of Comparison
I feel that comparison is something everyone does. I’ve done it for years, whether it’s comparing myself or my life against those of friends or celebrities doing it has brought me nothing but self hurt and that’s why I stopped doing it. Easier said than done right? Every time now I see something and get envious, I praise that person and congratulate them on the thing I’m slightly jealous of. I know longer feel need to have what they have and set myself on my own future goals and how I’m going to go about accomplishing them.
You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends! I don’t want to sound mean, I love my family but no one has me laughing out loud and acting like a donut as much as my friends do! I feel like once you start loving yourself, you love others better and also accept the love of others back so much easier. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, accept your flaws and love you unconditionally.