So this is my very first ever post! I am very excited to be writing this as it has been a very subtle but fundamental journey. A very long time coming.
So let me give you a little background about this post…so I have been called many things – ditsy – skatty – unorganised – impulsive – away with the fairies – forgetful – unreliable – naive – just to name a few.
At points in my life these names have offended me, hurt me or made me feel less of a person or miss-understood. But now I see them as beautiful compliments and a strength of my character. (Whether others see it that way or not)
I have learnt that this is because I am creative, artistic, insightful to different things at one time, a dreamer, a visionary.
My favourite name ever is planet bird which my mum has called me since I can remember, she would always say I was always on another planet. Day dreaming about or imagining up a whole other reality, whilst the world was going on around me and I will always be grateful for how my mum just gave me the space to dream! Through growing up I have learnt to accept and embrace who I am and it has been so freeing.
So… because of how my character is I have always struggled time and time again with self motivation and self discipline. As I grew up from teens to mid 20’s I would always think there was something wrong with me because I simply could not consistently have discipline or routine. I would get all fired up and be like this is the time I will run that 5k or read more or study harder, start that project etc. But it would never last and I would move on to a next idea or ‘dream’. I would then mentally beat myself up and would be blame it on myself that I am a failure. This is when I started to dream less as I thought what is the point, failing to start and not finishing something was just too disappointing for me. It was very subtle and didn’t even realise I lost hope in dreaming.
Over the years I am just starting to learn the significance of fitting discipline around who you are. Once I discovered that it wasn’t just a defect I had and I am not a person who can keep a routine but it is all about working what works best for you and how your mind works as a person.
I want to write this as an encouragement.
One – to never stop dreaming whether it is big or small as these area stemed from passions and celebrates who you are.
Two – just because it does not come naturally to you does not mean it is not meant to be or will never happen. I would encourage you to work out what works best for you. Starting small is the best way to start.
Three – journey is everything, even if it takes you over a 100 attempts to even start a new pattern in your life keep reflecting is so important taking time to view the journey and you may see more breakthrough in the journey of than the actual pattern you are trying to set in your life.
Finally – never beat yourself up!
‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal it is the courage to continue that counts’