Hello!!! My name is Hannah, and I’m insecure.
Wow, great introduction. I know.
For years I have struggled with insecurity. Why do I have acne? Why is it that every time I visit the doctors they say I’m overweight? Why do my makeup skills SUCK? It’s like I’m in this constant spiral of doubt and pity. There’s always that one friend who tells you to be optimistic, but sometimes that’s the last thing you want to be. I remember growing up, and just because I had shorter hair than the other girls, they would say I looked like a boy. Believe it or not, adults even told me that. STRAIGHT TO MY FACE. I wished I could’ve just been like the other girls. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect face, perfect waist, just perfect. I tell you this because I know how it feels. Yeah, I’ve been there. Exactly where you might be, right now. I didn’t think it was possible to be set free from all that insecurity. All I knew is that it was there, it was real, and it truly was painful. SO. How did I become free? Let me give you four things that I did to embrace and see my true beauty.
Jesus. Yes, this man who died on the cross for me opened my eyes to the scriptures. I remember the first time I read the scripture from Psalm 139:14, it says: “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” SO WAIT. That means Jesus says that I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. The creator of the universe calls me wonderful? He says that I am made in his image. OH Lord Jesus, You are freaking amazing. If you are a follower of Jesus, even if you aren’t, let me tell you a secret. Are you ready? Jesus doesn’t make mistakes. WOWOWOWOOW. I can’t even begin to comprehend that. I am so loved. YOU are so loved. Sometimes it’s hard to love yourself. BELIEVE ME, but Jesus is perfect. He created you and I for a purpose. Our insecurities cannot get in the way of our relationship with God. As you grow in your relationship with him, daily he will show you something new.
Yes, people. I totally get that you might be feeling uncertain with this point. People can actually be super toxic if you’re not careful, BUT I am talking about the kind of people you associate yourself with. Your friends, family, etc. While I was going through this time of insecurity in my life where it seemed to govern my life, I deleted my social media. Yes, I went that far. I remember scrolling seeing all these beautiful Instagram feeds. All of the owners of them were gorgeous, had a boyfriend, had the perfect body, and they all just seemed to have a perfect life. Which of course was a lie. I then surrounded myself with the friends I pushed away because I
had a jealousy problem. I was jealous of the people closest to me because their purposes were just unraveling right before their eyes. My purpose seemed hidden away. LIKE WHERE THE HECK YOU AT? When you admit the things that you’ve done that have been harmful to yourself, the burden is lifted. I began to refill my life with my friends I had pushed away because of jealousy. As they came back into my life, the encouragement and advice that I had began receiving uplifted my soul on so many levels. I then thanked God for the people that he had put in my life for a purpose. People help.
Believe it or not, music has helped me in so many ways. These days, there is music for everything. Worship music. Not only did reading scripture put the right things in my mind, but worship did. Through my worship Satan stayed away. It’s like music is how I cope. His word in song made me feel powerful. I had control of the enemy. Even when that little thought “your ugly” came into mind, I could immediately shut it down with my voice. Find a song for your season. EHEEEMMMM. Check out my spotify (Hannah Crytzer) to check out some amazing fantastic playlists.
Sometimes you just need to look at yourself in the mirror and say that you are beautiful. Say that you can do whatever you put your mind to. Build yourself up. Yes, it kinda sounds weird at first. Someone could totally walk by, see you staring at yourself in the mirror and pause. BUT WHO CARES. You are doing this for your benefit. Not anyone else’s. You are valuable, and sometimes you need to remind yourself. It took me a long time to understand the importance of affirmations, but once I started doing it THINGS GOT REAL. It helped me so much.
Loving yourself is hard, but guess what?
You can overcome your insecurities. I believe in you. You can do it.
I love all of you